Heavy

My Heart that is...

I laid our sweet girl down to bed tonight and watched as she snuggled into her blankets. Watched as she smiled up at me with her big blue eyes right before they got heavy and she went to sleep, and I wanted to stand there for hours, to take in the sound of her soft breath, the smell of her soft skin and curly hair.

There is a family doing the same thing tonight, but they are waiting for the end. They watch their daughters breaths as it may be her last, and smell her sweet warm skin and watch her peacefully sleep as they wait for peace for her poor sick little body.

I, along with many others have been praying for a miracle for this little girl, for her parents for her 2 sisters who are still so young yet old enough to understand what is happening.

No Parent should have to bury their child, it just isn't how the world should work, and while I know that God has a greater purpose for this sweet girl, I cannot imagine how they are getting through this.

I cannot even begin to imagine what our life without Abby would look like, for 21 years it was just me, and my family, for 6 years it was just me and Donnie and our families, and for the last year it has turned from an us to a we when we added Abby to our lives, and now another blessing is on the way. As I think about the last year, I am amazed what an impact 1 year VS. 27 has made.

So tonight I am no longer praying for a miracle for this little angel but rather for peace, for peace from her pain, for peace for her parents, and peace for her family as they walk this awful and terrible road. Would you pray with me? would you help Layla Grace by praying her transition to a healed place with no more needles, or chemo, or sickness is a smooth one? Would you pray that her parents broken hearts will mend with time, and that the sweet memories they have of their daughter are the ones they carry with them?

My heart is heavy tonight, heavy with joy for my own beautiful Angels and heavy with grief that a family is about to lose theirs.

Our little Abba Dabba

A daughter is the happy moments of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future~ Author unknown

Our little girl so beautiful and bright, you are such a wonder to watch. You're days are full of curiousity and learning and it is such a gift to see you change into a little person.

Abby has been quite busy in the last month, she has learned how to climb onto the couches, has taken a few steps and seems to be creating a language that only she, and sometimes us understands (well at least we think we do).

It is so strange to me that a little over a year ago she was so tiny and fragile, and to look at her today is such a difference, she loves to rough house with her daddy and climb all over dudley, who tends to escape to the other side of the gate where she can't get him. She is defiant at times and full of curiousity at others. So interested in the world around her, and what everyone is doing. She looks for her toys when she loses them, and loves to DANCE! She has a fascination and somewhat obsession with shoes ( much like her momma).

Having a toddler is a new experience and we are learning right along with her, just when we thought we had baby proofed we had to do it again, and yet she still finds things she shouldn't have and ways to get into things.

While I miss the days when she was a little newborn who curled into my chest at 3 am, and went to sleep, I love this stage, exhausting yes, but truly a different experience everyday.

I am still waiting to hear mama but I am just as happy to see her face light up when I go to get her in the morning and she has to show me every stuffed animal in her crib before I can take her out, along with playing peek a boo with her blanket, and I love coming home at night and hearing her squeal when she realizes mommy is home.

I love to watch Donnie and her play together and how she giggles when he blows raspberries on her cheek and his beard tickles her, or how gentle he is with her when she bumped her head, or isn't feeling well and she just melts into his arms when she is tired at times.

All in all this month has been a great one, I got a great job, told them about my pregnancy and was congratulated and reassured that it was a great thing and they were happy for us. Donnie took his CNA test and is waiting for the results (although he is sure he did great), and is on the hunt for a job.

So far 2010 seems to be a great year (yes I realize it is only February, and I am knocking on wood that it will continue that way)!

Hope yours has been off to a wonderful start as well!!

Abb's update

I promise to update on Abby this weekend, I had a snow day the other day, and we got a lot of pictures of her in the snow,. But for now I am going to watch the opening ceremonies and then go to bed because I am beat!

A much needed baby Update...

Baby Bean that is...

He/she is looking great , and at the ultrasound at 9 weeks 5 days the heart was beating away and the bean was right on Target for growth.

I, on the other hand am having a much harder time this go round, alot of morning sickness, and not much food coming in to replace what I was losing. Things are looking up though I will be 13 weeks tommorow and am finally starting to feel better, and the baby has decided to have a voracious appetite and so I have been eating about 6 small meals a day to keep up, and of course lots of water, which makes me run to the bathroom about 20 times a day.

Donnie and I are both amazed at how fast my belly has popped out this time around too, this little one sems to want to make his/her presence known right away, I already am into my maternity clothes, which is surprising because I didn't need them until about 18 weeks last time.

All in all I am enjoying this season in our lives and we are eagerly anticipating Baby beans upcoming months and arrival. I can't wait for Abby to be a big sister, and I know it will be an adjustment for her but I am so happy she will have a sibling :)

And just for comparison sake here is a picture I put together of me pregnant with Abby and baby Bean at 12 weeks...the difference is SHOCKING!