Monday, November 16, 2009

Not the original post

I had planned...
So it has been awhile since we have posted and I promise pictures and videos at the end.

I came on here today and planned to post an update on life and post some pictures and be done with it, but I am feeling a little nostalgic and emotional today so I feel like writing....bear with me and like I said above I promise new pictures and videos at the end :).

I can't believe our daughter is 10 months old, I am so much enjoying this stage in her life but at the same time I am having some sadness, sadness that my baby is gone, the angel I used to cuddle and wanted to be rocked to sleep is perfectly happy to do it herself now. The little baby who needed me and her daddy to do everything for her is growing more and more independent with each passing day. She pulls away when you try and cuddle her for too long because she has far more exploring to do, she likes to hold her own bottle now, and really doesn't like to fed anymore either.

While these are all things that are exciting, and amazing to watch, they are hard to accept. In 2 short months she will be one, and the next time I blink we will be leaving her at college, and sending her off into the big world, a confident and amazing woman.

This year has been full of changes, and trials, and tribulations, moments of pure terror and fear, and yet so many moments of pure bliss. Months when we didn't know how we got through them, or how we managed to pay the rent and still have money left over at the end.

I look at our beautiful girl and feel so blessed that we have her, feel so blessed that although alot was taken from us this year, we got more in return than we could have ever imagined. I know a lot of people may wonder how we got through this so positive, and finding the silver lining...I will tell you how, God's grace, our families, and our love for each other.

I firmly believe that is how we got through many of those months on one income and fear, that week in the hospital with Abby, The months of trials that our marriage went through. At the end of the day when we felt like we had nothing left, but tears, at the end of the day when we were sure it was over, and we had nothing left to give, we clung to our families, each other, our daughter and God. We asked for help, we asked for peace, and we asked for Grace.

I post on here alot about how we have been positive and happy to just be, and that isn't always the truth, there have been some dark and stormy days, some days when Donnie and I were not sure we could get through, some days when we needed some outside help to get through our marriage and just be able to live in the same house, in order to deal with the bigger challenges we were facing. There were days when we just dealt with being parents and the growing stack of bills on the table, and forgot about our needs in our marriage.

We are are on the right path again, and we are good, we are happy and we are communicating. I think that is why I feel comfortable talking about it now. In the thick of it we were angry and bitter, at each other, at God, and just in general. In all of that it is easy to lose sight of the big picture, to trust that there is a reason we are going through this and while we may never fully understand all the tests we were handed, and I believe passed, we know one thing, we are strong.

Stong in our love and strong in our faith. If this last year has done anything for us it has shown us that we can do anything, get through anything, and overcome anything.

We have another year of challeges ahead with me losing my job, and Donnie changing careers and re-entering school, while working, but I am not scared, I don't have any fear, because I know we will overcome it, and I know that we will again be stronger because of it. I know that there is a plan in it all, one we don't need to know about, yet have faith that it will work out the way that God wants it to.

So we will cling to our families, each other, our Daughter and God , and ride out this storm. We will look for the Silver lining and the rainbow at the end and know that God will provide a way, and a window will open, allowing us to get through.

We don't know what our future holds but we do know that it is great, and wonderful, as long as we have each other, Abby, our families and our faith.

So without further delay...please enjoy the pictures and video of our beautiful miracle, and a little girl who will never know how much she saved her parents on their hardest days. She is and was the reason we get out of bed everyday and put two feet on the floor, and keep fighting. We fight for her, for her future and for her to grow up happy, peaceful, and confident.

We love you Abba Dabba, and you will someday hopefully understand what an amazing blessing you have been to your mommy and daddy.

Her first go at pears as finger food...

The Aftermath, she really likes to run her sticky, soggy fingers through her hair

Our Cheeseball...and the reason we laugh so darn hard some days

As she has gotten bigger, so has her love for dudley...

Although I am not sure he feels the same way most days

Our solution to our wanderer

But she knocks it over since it is full of her toys, and has managed to figure out how to get past it...on to the next idea

She loves her new (to her) jumparoo courtesy of her Aunt Ashley and Cousin Scarlett...thank you for letting her borrow it :)

Abby has learned to clap!!!...everything now gets applause, diaper changes, food, dudleys toys, getting up in the morning, etc. It is her new favorite thing to do!