Thursday, October 22, 2009

9 Months...Whew that was fast!

Little Abby girl is now 9 Months old! It is so hard for us to believe that she has been outside of me now longer than I carried her.

She is such a wonder and amazement to us daily, and it seems she learns something new and wonderful (sometimes not so wonderful Like her yelling voice) everyday.

We are soaking her in as much as we can and it is such a gift to watch her explore and discover things.

Here is what Abby has been up to the last month:
~She went from an army crawl to a full on crawl
~she is now successfully pulling up on everything she can get her hands on (including poor Dudley)
~She is Cruising along the Couches (video of that below)
and has discovered how to yell really, really loud when she wants something :).

She has her 9 month appointment next Tuesday so we will know her weight and height stats then, although we are pretty confident she has passed the 20 pound mark.

All in all it has been a pretty good month, not much new with Donnie and I, and it feels good to say that, that things are just status quo right now, no big suprises or changes and after the last few months that is a very welcomed change.

Abby's baptism is next weekend and we will post those pictures as well as her 1st Halloween pictures, afterwards.

Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend and enjoy her 9 monthday Photos :)!
Love,
Us

Mommy and Daddy's little monster


Seeing leaves for the first time


Staring at our neighbor



Finally a big smile from our little pumpkin

Abby is perfecting her exasperated side eye look for her teenage years


Uh-Oh We are in trouble!

Friday, October 16, 2009

VOTE FOR ME !!!!

Abby is entered in a contest with Studion one to one if she wins she will recieve a $1000 Savings bond and a $500 Picture portfolio.

Here is the link:
http://www.holdmymemories.com/contests/momentdetails/1494360?page=6

you can only vote once per email address, so if you have more than one please use them.
It will send you a validation email and you have to click that for the vote to count ( check your spam folder too) that is where mine ended up.

Thank you for voting for her :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Infant Loss and Rememberance Day




I have not Lost a child, and I hope that this pain never becomes a part of our life. We do know quite a few people who have lost Babies, I personally have made some friends who have gone through miscarriage, stillbirth and even the loss of an older child. I view these parents as some of the strongest people I have ever met, be it in real life or through blogs or message boards.


I cannot imagine the pain of carrying a child even for a short time and never being able to bring that baby home with you.


From the moment Donnie and I found out we were going to be parents we were in love, we started talking about what Abby would look like, what our hopes and dreams were for baby bean Harris. I remember hoping for a girl but also that I would be happy no matter what as long as the baby was healthy and happy.

There was a day early on in the pregnancy when I was spotting, and I remember the absolute terror and fear we both felt, we were pretty early on so when I called the Doctor and the nurse said well there is nothing we can do if this is a Miscarriage. I felt hopeless, hurt, confused and angry. How could one be so insensitive, so callaous about OUR baby. Then I remembered that for them this is something that probably happens everyday, and that made me more upset. I was upset because I realized that we have no control over whether they live or Die, that it is all in God's hands and for whatever reason he decides to take some home well before their time, this is not a comforting thought especially for a control freak like me. It does not make me feel any better to say it's ok God decided he wanted our baby more. Thankfully the spotting stopped and the pregnancy continued, but it never left my mind that we could lose baby bean at anytime and that there was not a darn thing anyone could do about it, no matter how much we bargained, prayed, pleaded or cried.

Around 22 weeks I started having some very painful braxton hicks contractions and the doctor wanted to see me right away, the entire way to the doctor's office I prayed again, over and over, please Don't take her, we love her so much already, I can't imagine our lives without her in it. I was a wreck by the time Donnie met me at the OB and we sat in the cold office and waited, waited for the cold gel on my expanding belly and the beautiful thump-thump-thump of her heart. It was there and I calmed down but I still wanted to know why I was having contractions, and the Doctor said it happens sometimes, it is completely normal. Normal was not the word I would have used but again they deal with it every day and this is something they telly everyone. So I was put on bedrest for 5 days and again everything calmed down and the pregnancy went on.

The day before I was induced with Abby I had my 39 week appointment, got my weight checked, blood pressure, and belly measured. Everything looked great and I was dialated to 2-3 CM and 80% effaced, doc said it could be anytime now and I got excited thinking we could meet our little girl soon. We then listened to the heart and it popped up right away, I thought it sounded great but I noticed the Doc was taking longer than normal and she looked worried. She said she wanted to run Non Stress test and see where we were after that, so I go to the next room get hooked up to a monitor and lay there counting her kicks with a little button. All this time Donnie was at work wondering where the heck I was and he wasn't able to get ahold of me. The nurses were coming in and out, they looked concerned and no one was telling me anything.

Finally Dr. Bansore came in and said you are going to have a baby tommorow, her heart rate is high and while things look healthy I want to get her out. I went in to panic mode, I was excited that we would get to meet her but terrified that they wanted to do it so fast and that even though I was progressing into labor on my own they were going to jump start it.
I left the office and called Donnie and that is when it all hit me, what if something is wrong, what if they aren't telling me everything so I don't get worked up, what if, what if, what if.

Donnie rushed home, we put our parents on alert, and got packed to head to the hospital the next morning. The labor was long and everything was going the way it was supposed to, we joked that Abby was ready to come out so she was doing tricks to get her way. When she came out she didn't cry, and as a mother who has been laboring for over 17 hours that is the sound you wait for, they cut her cord and rushed her across the room to stimulate her, I had no idea what was happening, no one knew really, and then the Doctors started coming in, and then more nurses, and she still wasn't crying. I was trying to stay calm but all I wanted was my daughter and I couldn't get why no one was giving her to me. Hell I carried her for 10 months I think I should get to hold her finally.

Then everything got scary, and rushed, and confusing. The next thing I knew she was in my arms and then she was being run down to the NICU. now for a person who has had a "normal" pregnancy, this was confusing. I remember begging God to not take her in my head and saying over and over again to him please just let me hold her.

At the time I remember running through my head all the Horror stories you read about people delivering a stillborn, after a normal pregnancy, about babies with undetected birth defects. I remember thinking I don't want to join this club, I don't want to have an angel baby, I want to take her home, I want to show her the nursery her Daddy painted for her, put her in the crib that I slept in, rock her in the chair that Donnie and all his siblings had been in. I want to watch her grow up, please don't take my Daughter, the one we prayed for and waited for, and wanted so badly.

Walking into the NICU was the scariest experience of my life, I had no idea what I was walking into and you are never really prepared for seeing your child like that.

In all of this I felt lucky though, lucky that we decided to deliver at a hospital with one of the best NICU's in the Country, Lucky that the neonatalogists that were caring for her were the best, and that we have the technology to save her. The first night was terrifying, I remember going to bed that night and her Doctor telling us it was touch and go and only time would tell us what we were dealing with, they also told us that if anything changed they would come get us. Needless to say we did not sleep well that night and It was about 5 AM when we went back down there. The next few days showed promise and before we knew it she had moved to the Step down Side of the NICU and 3 days later we got to take her home.

Those days have forever changed my life. I am different because of that experience, it made me realize how fragile life is, and how quickly it can all change. As Abby got better I relaxed but I still was impacted not only by her but by all the babies in there with her, the nurses all joked that she was the "baby moose" of the NICU crew and people would walk past and smile at her and her big blue eyes. The other parents in there were amazing, there was a 23 weeker, a 28 weeker and a 30 weeker all in there with us, at the time I felt guilty because our journey in that ward was a short one and most of them spent months there, every day, and all night sometimes hoping for a miracle.

Sadly one of the Babies passed while we were there, it was a nice young couple and it was there first. I still think about them and wonder how they are doing, I remember when the Dad came out and apologized to all of us waiting to see our kids. Because of the circumstances they closed down the NICU whenever a baby coded, and we all had to leave, but I will never forget the look in his eyes, the pain, the confusion, and the utter grief.

We held Abby longer that night, we hugged her more tightly before we went home, and we thanked God the entire way home for saving her and letting her stay with us.

This has gotten more wordy than I intended and if you are still with me I appreciate it.
This entire post was meant to say that I admire the strength that these parents walking this path have. The fact that they still rejoice when others celebrate the birth of a child and they are left with empty arms. The strength they have to raise their other children with a hole in their heart and a piece of their family missing.

Today we honor the Babies that have gone before their parents, and the parents that are left to survive and go on.

My Family will be praying for all of you and thinking of you today.

May God surround and hold you as you walk this path.

Monday, October 12, 2009

8 Month Pictures a little late

I took these a while ago but with everything that has been going on at work I have not had the chance nor the ability to remember to do it.

Abby has gone from Army Crawling to Crawling on all fours she is also pulling up on things as of this weekend. Her two Bottom teeth are completely in and she is working on her top two. It has been a busy little month for our Angel and we are loving every minute of it. It is completely amazing how much she has changed in just a few months and how much more she is going to change in the coming months, and years.

Her baptism is at the end of this month and we are very much looking forward to welcoming her into a relationship with God (even though she has been attending church since she was born), it is a formal introduction of sorts. We will have plenty of pictures from the day I am sure and I can't wait to see her in her gorgeous Christening Gown. We will also be getting professional photos since the Baptism coincides with her 9 monthday, we decided to have them done then.

Other than that not too much is happening in our neck of the woods, I am still looking for a job and Donnie starts his CNA Class on Monday the 19th. It will be an adjustment for him, and I know he is going to miss Abby but it is a step in the right direction towards him becoming a nurse and it will allow him to go back to work, and attend school at the same time.

So without further Delay, here are a bunch of pictures from the past month...Enjoy!!

She loves her new shoes...it took a few tries but she keeps these on now



This is how we usually find her in the morning




She loves her puppy





The best thing to wake up to

Here is a video of Her in her Round We go actvivity Center...She loves this toy.
(Sorry it is so Dark, and it flipped sideways for some of it and I can't get it to upload any other way)


Love,
Christie, Donnie, and Abby

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

One more post before I go

These lyrics seemed fitting for our anniversary (although they fit the way I feel about Abby too) The Song is on the playlist at the bottom of our Blog...Enjoy :)

Smile
Uncle Kracker

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Us!

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13

It has been an amazing, scary, troubling, happy, blissful, journey of a year.  We have had ups, downs and even side to sides in our house.  We have been flipped upside down and rightside up, but through it all we have clung to each other. 

This year has marked many changes for us, we welcomed our beautiful daughter, we have dealt with bouts of almost poverty, we have made changes in our careers and changes in our lives.

In a year that has at times almost torn us apart we have made it through together and stronger than I think we ever were.  We have learned patience and hope, with each other, with our marriage and with God. 

I never thought that the things we have been through we would go through but it has made us stronger and tougher, we have pushed each other away and came back to each other alot this year.  I think this year has shown us what our relationship and our marriage are made of.  It has been a reality check, a test of sorts.

I know that God has a purpose and a plan for us and our marriage and while we are still figuring that out, we are clinging to each other even tighter through it all.  We have some interesting changes ahead as well, but if the last year is any indication, we know that we can and will get through it, stronger than ever and a better family.

So happy anniversary to us, and heres to many more.  We may not be perfect in our love all the time but we are perfect for each other and that is why we make it through the stormy days. 

I love you always and forever, and couldn't imagine anyone better to grow old and gray with.

and to qoute from one of our favorite movies: 
"True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another"
~Wedding Crashers