So as I was logging on to my computer this morning and getting ready to start the day I was compelled to Check a blog I have been following called My Charming Kids.
There son Stellan has been ill and I wanted to see how his progress was going. He is unfortunately still Critical and I continue to pray for him everyday and pray for his family to have the strength to get through this horrible and scary time.
While I was there I came across a blog she mentioned called Bring the Rain Here is the link:http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/. It is the story of a women who has 3 beautiful Daughters, she was pregnant with her fourth when they found out that she had conditions that would make it impossible to live outside the womb. I went back to the beginning of the blog and read a few entries while I was getting through my emails and various phone messages from last night.
I suddenly found myself fighting back the tears. Those of you who know me, know that I tend not to cry in public or very easily for that matter, Sweet little Abby and being a mom has completely changed that. I found that I was putting myself in her shoes and thinking about the Ultrasound we had when they told us they were concerned about Abby's heart and all the emotion and scary thoughts we went through. Thank God everything turned out Ok but I found myself thinking what if it hadn't what if they told us the same thing this poor mother had to hear. My heart started to break and I slowly realized how amazing and wonderful her little life is, I started to realize what a miracle she truly is and how thankful I am she was given to us.
The last Month has been a tough one both finacially and emotionally for us. Having Donnie lose his job has really tested our marriage, but when I was reading this blog and putting myself in her place, suddenly none of that mattered. I am convinced that Abby is our miracle, our piece of heaven right on earth, to try to sympathize with this womans story is impossible. I can't imagine carrying your child for 9 months and than not being able to hold her every second of every day whenever you want. I can't imgaine the emptiness she feels when she looks down at her stomach and knows that there was a miracle there that god decided was too beautiful for earth.
I have said it many times over the last 2 months and I will continue to say it. Abby is the light in our lives and everything seems so small compared to the blessing that she is. We are going through a tough time but that is just it we are going and will get through it. God works in mysterious ways and for some reason he decided to test us at this time.
We will be stronger because of this not only as individuals but as a family.
I am so thankful that when I get home tonight I get to snuggle with my sweet little girl, that I get to smell her sweet skin and kiss her chubby cheeks. She is our blessing and our miracle and I will be forever thankful that god decided to give her to us.