Her birthday was traumatic and not what we were expecting but in the end God has blessed us with a healthy, thriving and active child who is getting so curious about the world around her. She is what the What to expect book would deem as a challenging child though. She is dead set on sitting up even though she can't yet and she gets frustrated easily because she wants to do things that her little body won't let her do yet. She has a fight in her though and we think she is destined for great things, if the attitude she has is any indication of her future self we are going to have our hands full with this one :).
In my life I never knew that I could become so selfless, that I would no longer care if my clothes were perfect or if I got makeup on that day. If not doing or having those things means one more minute of time with my daughter I could care less.
Going back to work has been my biggest challenge, beacause while I enjoy my job, I am constantly wanting to be home with Abby. I feel like I am missing so much of her life and it tears me apart every morning I walk out the door to leave. I never thought I would be that kind of mom, I always thought I would be a working mother and that I would be ok with it. It is amazing how much your priorities change the second you lock eyes with your miracle.
I do find that the time I get with her now though is much more precious. I started taking it for granted when I was home those 6 weeks.
I took for granted that we would nap together in the afternoon while lifetime played in the background and Donnie made lunch, I took for granted those little sounds and smiles I got the second she got on her changing table. If going back to work has given me anything it is that I no longer take those small things for granted. I hug her tighter than I did before, I kiss her more than I ever did and even when she is screaming her head off I relish in the fact that I can pick her up and put her head on my chest and she turns from a screaming meanie (our little nickname for her) to my sweet little angel in 10 seconds flat.
I love being a mom and it is the greatest job in the world, it is something I wish everyone could experience in some way because it truly does change you overnight.
Becoming a Family...
We have settled into our routine somewhat and have started getting used to being an us instead of a we. We are still sleeping in shifts and Donnie and I are convinced that we won't sleep in the same bed until she is on her way to college. We do get to have dinner together most nights if we time it right and feed her first so she naps for a little bit, and the adult conversation usually happens in the small window between when we get up and when I leave for work in the morning but in the end it is all worth it when we get one of her big gummy smiles when she discovers something for the first time.
Watching Donnie become a Dad has really been an awesome experience though. He is so patient with her and really is great at calming her. I think we have a new appreciation for each other that we may have lost or even not had before. Being parents has given us a new found respect as well.
More later and I will leave you with some abby pictures :)