Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The beginning of the end

of my 20's,...which will lead to a new beginning and new chapter in my life.  I started out my 20's as a fairly seasoned College student as I was a junior, so looking forward to my future and hopeful of all the things life would bring me. I was living in an apartment off campus, as a psuedo adult, and was a member of a service sorority that kept me busy, I filled my days with service projects, studying, sisterhood events, paper writing, planning my future and the boyfriend, and my nights were living for the moments I may not remember with the friends I would never forget.   

My 20's have been a decade of great change and transition for me, I went from being college student, with all these ideals and ideas about the world, to being a fairly seasoned worker, with quite a few jobs under my belt, a wife, a mother,  and most recently a stay at home mom and a member of the large unemployed population, but having the best job in the world. I have changed and grown more in my last 10 years of life than I think I ever did in my first 20.  Some days were fantastic, some sucked a whole lot, some days I wanted to just go to bed so I could wake up and start new the next day, and other days I never wanted to end. 

I have learned what family truly means to me and have begun to appreciate my parents much more now as I am happy to not just call them Mom and Dad, but to call them friends as well.  I have learned to hang on to the lessons of the past that will help me with my future and to forgive myself for things that will not.  I have realized that there really are people that you must have in your life, for example, a best friend who holds so much of your past that no matter the physical distance, your hearts are still in the same place.  That as much as you bicker when you are younger, your sisters will become good friends and confidants when you get older.  I have learned that my past will not define me, but that it did help shape me. 

I found that love crops up in the strangest of places, most notably in front of a fraternity house on a random Thursday night when I was least expecting it, but most definitely hoping for it.  That, that love would test me in ways I never knew existed, but at the same time teach me so many things about myself.  It would also take me to some dark places but light up my world more than I ever knew it could be.

I have found that being a mother is the most challenging yet rewarding experience that I have ever had.  That it is truly possible to fall in love at first sight, and that I am much stronger than I ever thought that I was.  That loud music in a smokey bar, surrounded by my friends, would pale in comparison to quiet nights in, and 3 am feedings when I get smiles cause my babies bellies are full.  That even though I miss those nights some times, I would never give up what I have now. 

My 20's have been such a great learning experience, and have opened my eyes in so many ways.  I am looking forward to my 30's, but am still a little sad to close this chapter of change in my life.  I realize though that as with anything closing the chapter does not mean forgetting it, it means building on it and creating more memories in the book of life.  It means taking all of the lessons learned and moving forward, it means evolving once again and it means a new era.

So heres to the next decade...may it have as many wonderful moments, heartbreaks, challenges, and tests as the last one!

                                            "grow old with me, the best is yet to be"

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